MY HUSBAND PROPOSED TO ME AT FIRST SIGHT

Alhaja Kuburat Olayinka Okoya, wife of
billionaire industrialist and
philanthropist, Alhaji Razaq Akanni
Okoya (of the famous Eleganza), has
seen it all having lived in opulence and
affluence for close to five decades.  But
there is something amazing about this
ageless mother of seven - that is her
mien, disposition to life and humility.
As she turns 70 on Monday, September
23, she opens up to FUNKE OLAODE on
her childhood and how she met her
husband of almost 50 years
A privileged beginning
I was born in Lagos on September 23,
1943. I am a Lagosian by birth. My mother
hailed from Bida in Niger State while my
father hailed from Aramoko in Ekiti State.
My mother’s father is from Gbadebo royal
family of Abeokuta in Ogun State. So, I
am partly from Niger, Abeokuta and Ekiti
State. All of them were born in Lagos and
we have since adopted Lagos as our
home. At the time of my birth, my father,
the late Alhaji Abdulraman Bada, was
working with the Marine Shipping
Company. My mother on the other hand
was a petty trader working with her
mother to trade her wares. It was
interesting growing up among seven
children in what I would call the Lagos of
old. It was a peaceful communal life
where everybody made other people’s
business their own business. It was an
era where children were raised by the
neighbourhood.
We had so many mothers and fathers.
And the community where I lived in
Olowoogbowo area was like a family. It
was a very close knit family. We related
together and even lived together in
harmony. Lagos was small and only few
communities were in existence. As a
matter of fact, we were not allowed to
leave our territory in Apongbon,
Elegbata, Olowoogbowo because what we
did within that area was enough for you.
But boys would always be boys as they
still found time to chase girls to Campos
Area. Then, there was no Surulere and
Ojuelegba. There were no many vehicles
on the road as we could count the
numbers of cars on the road. There was
electricity in Lagos from January to
December. There was security and there
was no fear of accident. There was no
heavy traffic in those days. Sometimes,
we used to travel in the night because the
road would be free and quiet. People
used to sleep in the corridor of their
homes without fear of being tormented
by armed robbers or petty thieves. Life
was beautiful.
Going to school
My father was among the elites of his
time because he had formal education
and he read up to Standard Six of those
days, which was like a graduate of these
days. He was a polished man because he
was exposed and educated and his
spoken English could match with
graduates of these days. His influence on
us children was enormous. I remember as
foreman of a Shipping Company, he had
about four boys assigned to me. One
would carry his brief case, another would
carry his lunch box and each of them
played different roles at different times.
We enjoyed that privileged beginning
which was short-lived because he died
while I was 15 years. It was a sad
experience for us (children) because our
father adored us and wanted us to be
very highly educated. We are seven
children and I am the second born with
five younger siblings. Of course, we had
to survive. God intervened in our
situation and we survived that turbulent
period. My senior brother finished
standard six and got a job in a bank
through an uncle who was a banker. At a
time, they wanted to sponsor him to
higher institution but because of his
younger ones, he decided to stay back.
And by the time I got married, I was able
to send my siblings to school as well so
they too could become something in life.
Childhood memorable events
The Second World War was almost ending
when I was born and we were told a lot
of stories of the war. The memory that
still remains with me till today was the
eclipse. I was about seven years when it
happened. I just saw people running
helter skelter. We had a lot of people
living with us and people were panicking.
I noticed that there was rainbow in the
sky and it was partially dark.  It wasn’t like
a normal afternoon. Everybody was afraid
including the children and we thought the
world was coming to an end. We were just
shouting ‘laila ila lai’. A lot was going
through our mind as kids. I didn’t
entertain any fear because I had my
parents with me and I just said whatever
happened it would affect all of us.
I was a quiet a kid
Having grown up in a household where
discipline was the order of the day, I
could not afford to display any youthful
exuberance. I was a quiet kid because my
mother was a no nonsense woman and
would not spare her rod at any slightest
mistakes. This tough attitude of hers
always pitched her against my father. She
thought my father had over-pampered me
so she would reserve all her punishments
until after my father had left for his
office. With that, whether my father was
around or not, I would always keep
myself in check. I still had a mark with me
today as a result of injury I sustained
from my mother. My father never raised
his hands on us. He had us late because
his first marriage produced three children
and only one child survived. By the time
he started having us, we were like grand-
children to him. So, he pampered us. I
played a few pranks with caution and not
the ones that would raise my mother’s
anger. It was when I grew older that I
appreciated her more, that she didn’t
hate us, that she was just trying to
inculcate good character in us.
Schooling
With a father who was one of the
educated ones in his days, we were
exposed to education early. I began my
elementary education at age seven at
Ansarudeen School, Alakoro on Lagos
Island. I spent two years in this school
and left because of one bully boy. There
was a time I told my parents that I didn’t
want to go to school again. They later
found out that it was a particular boy that
was bullying me. There was nothing
anybody could do because his father was
one of the missionaries that founded
Ansarudeen School.
This boy would collect my allowance in
school; he would beat me up if I failed to
succumb to his demand. I was really fed
up and my father had to withdraw me and
re-enrolled me in another school. He
gave me a lot of encouragement that if I
wanted to be a nurse, which was my
childhood dream because I like their
uniform, I had to pursue education. I was
moved to Ahmadiya School, which was
close to our house, to begin another
phase of life. I spent only few years in
this school when my father was
transferred by his company to the North.
He went to Lokoja in Niger State (now
capital of Kogi State) which was a center
of commerce in those days. Obviously, I
was afraid of my mother’s severe
punishment at any slightest provocation.
I decided to join my father in the North. I
was re-enrolled again at Holy Trinity
School, Lokoja. I spent only one and half
years when he was moved back to Lagos.
I came back to Lagos and was enrolled at
Sumuratu. You know, being a Moslem,
parents always looked for a Moslem
school. I eventually did the first primary
living school certificate in this school.
Moving to Ibadan...
After my primary education, I thought I
had had enough of Lagos and I needed to
explore another area. I had lost my father
then and my mother wasn’t that educated
and I thought I could have my way. As a
Moslem, she wanted me to attend a
Moslem school. But I cajoled her that I
heard about a good school in Ibadan
where students were being tutored to be
the best. I persuaded her but she
challenged me that she learnt it was a
Christian school. I convinced her that for
a change she should allow me to go. That
was how I moved to Ibadan and joined
Anglican Girls’ School, Orita-Mefa as a
border. It was a commercial school which
offered short-hand, typing, business
studies and so on. I didn’t know what it
takes to be a nurse. I just love the
profession because of their uniform,
neatness, smartness and the cap. But my
father died and I thought nursing would
not be possible again. Going to a
commercial school in Ibadan was a
strategy. I said if couldn’t pursue my
dream as a nurse, I can at least work as a
secretary in an office one day. The first
two years was easy for my mother to pay
my school fees, but by the third year, I
started having difficulty.
She was faced with financial challenges
because she had to take care of seven
children. Sometimes, when I came for
school fees, I would have to wait for three
weeks after resumption. It became
harder for my mother to raise the money
when I got to Modern Two. I went to my
principal then, one Mrs. Priddy, to explain
the situation of things. She was
compassionate and wrote letters to
charity organisations to offer me
scholarships. She gave me a letter to the
then Olubadan in 1959. That was few
months away from Nigeria’s
Independence. Unfortunately for me, that
period coincided with the Awolowo/
Akintola Taku crisis and I couldn’t see
Kabiyesi. When I got to the palace, one of
the palace boys said I could not see the
Oba.
I went back to report to the principal. My
principal encouraged me to go back to the
palace on a Friday. I joyfully went only to
meet an obstacle in the person of this
palace boy who insisted that if I come
there 100 times he would not allow me to
see Kabiyesi. I still went there the third
time. And this time, this guy gave me a
big knock on the head and said ‘don’t you
hear that you shouldn’t come here again.
There is trouble in the country and I want
to add my own by seeking benevolence’. I
went to the principal to explain my plight
that I have tried my best but it was futile.
My principal was so concerned that if I
was able to get the letter across to the
then OIubadan, he would be able to use
his position to choose among the wealthy
people in Ibadan to sponsor me or even
volunteer to give me a scholarship. And
now that her effort had failed, the school
was not a charity organization and they
could not continue to harbour me.
Ambition truncated
The principal allowed me to stay till the
end of that term and told me not to come
back again. That was how my ambition of
going to school was truncated. I
summoned courage and I didn’t allow
that episode of life to undermine my
goals and aspiration. A lot was going
through my mind. I had my siblings to
look after and now my dream was dying. I
said I had to survive. I packed my bag and
baggages from Ibadan and came back to
Lagos to begin another life. Although it
was a bleak future but I was hopeful. I
said if I can’t read at that time I would
read in the future. My main concern was
to search for a job so I could assist my
mother and cater for my younger siblings.
I had an uncle, my mother’s younger
brother in Birmingham, England, who was
doing well. When he heard about the
situation back home, he said I should join
him in England. This was in 1963. But
prior to my uncle’s offer, a friend got me
a job in Chellaram as a sales girl. The
salary was four pounds and five shillings.
It was a lot of money then and suddenly I
became the bread winner. I didn’t touch
my money because our house was
situated at Apongbon area and my office
was at Marina.
I jettisoned London trip
I worked for a year in this office and
while I was getting ready to move to
England, I met this young man, Rasaq
Okoya, who proposed marriage to me
immediately. I told him I wasn’t ready for
marriage because I was preparing to go to
England to have good education so that I
too can become somebody in life. He said
we can go to London together. I said I
was the only one invited and I can’t take
him along with me. Meeting and marring
my husband wasn’t an easy ride. I wasn’t
trying to proof stubborn but my mind was
in England. I had worked for some time
and I had saved some money. So I
decided to celebrate my 21st birthday at
least to make myself happy because our
parents were not used to celebrating our
birthday.
Then one of our co-tenants, Baba
Olokodana, who was like a father figure to
us in the compound, came that he
wanted an invitation. I had budgeted to
take care of few guests and I said I didn’t
want old people at my party. I had
already paid for a hall called West End
Coliseum, very close to our house, and I
had instructed the gateman not to allow
people in without an invitation. I didn’t
know how Baba Olokodana smuggled my
husband into the party. I was in the
middle of the party when my husband
came with Baba Olokodana. This man said
I should come and meet his friend. I
thought he was Baba Olokodana’s
contemporary because he wore a big
babariga with cap. I didn’t know he had
told our co-tenant his intention to marry
me. They told him that I wasn’t going to
give any chance to any man because my
aim was to go to England.
Then I had an uncle called Dauda who
was like a confidant to me. This uncle
called me and said ‘how old are you?’ And
I said ‘I am 21 years’. He said with my age
I was ripe for marriage. He sweet-talked
and cajoled me that if I look round all the
relations are getting old. And if the oldest
dies, what was he is going to tell my
father about me when he gets to heaven?
He said I have to settle down before
these people die. This uncle advised me
that London would be there forever. That
even my children, my grand-children
would still go to London. He brain-
washed me that I started having a
rethink. I told him that I wasn’t in a
relationship. I didn’t know that my
husband had parleyed him. He said there
was this young prominent man who was
this and that and could even take me to
London. My husband had built his first
house by then and was popular on the
Island. My uncle said I should give him a
chance.
My husband proposed to me at first
sight
Having been cajoled by my uncle, I
gradually allowed my husband into my
life. He came with his late friend, Mr.
Folami, to my house the following day
and sat down quietly. His friend, Folami,
was the one doing the talking. I said who
is Okoya between you because it was my
first close encounter with him. Mr. Folami
said it was his good friend. I said,
‘gentlemen, it is 8 o’clock and I would like
to go to a cinema in front of our house to
relax.’ They said they would go with me
and they did.
They were coming and going for good
one week and I didn’t allow them to say a
word. But after one week, Mr. Folami said
they weren’t going to the cinema with me
that we needed to talk. All along, the
would be husband wasn’t doing the
talking. Mr. Folami said my husband was
a quiet man and that is his nature. And
when he finally opened up, he said “I
want a wife”. He was 24 then and he had
done well for himself. I said I will try. But
this man was persistent and would not
go. I refused to go to his house and I said
if I would come my uncle would have to
come with me. My uncle later talked to
me and I gave him a chance. That was
how our journey began towards the end
of 1964 and we got married the same year
and I had my daughter, Moji the following
year. We have been married for close to
50 years and the marriage is blessed with
seven children and many grand-children.
By the special grace of God, I am
expecting my first great-grandchild.
Madam Humility
Having lived in opulence and affluence for
close to five decades, a lot of people still
wonder how I have been able to manage
and live above board. Well, humility is
part of my nature that cannot be
changed. If you are humble, you cannot
fake it. People will know it and you don’t
need to pretend about it and it shows.
And if even it is a pretense, for how
long? Living a quiet life is in-born
because no matter how comfortable you
are, don’t allow it to get into your head.
We have also inculcated the same attitude
of hardwork and taking life seriously into
our children. You know their father is an
industrious and a hardworking man. Even
in his sleep, he will still be talking
business. So, right from their childhood,
they have imbibed the spirit of hardwork.
I remember during holidays they would
go and come back to this business. When
they were young, they got involved in the
factory work. They were happy and they
all looked forward to it. For instance, they
used to label the coolers and write sales
note for the customers. We enticed them
with 10 kobo commission, that the harder
you work the bigger the rewards. So,
despite the fact that my husband is an
industrialist of repute, he didn’t indulge
them. He believes that whatever you are
doing, always expose your children to it
because they are the future directors of
your company.
I am fulfilled at 70
I am grateful to Almighty Allah for
sustaining my life over the past 70 years.
When I look back, some of my
contemporaries have passed on while
those who are still alive cannot be
recognized. I thank God for preserving my
life and allowing me to pass through life’s
challenges that shaped my life. I give
glory to God for making me who I am. In
all, I have no regrets. I am blessed with
wonderful children and fantastic
daughters and sons-in-law. I have
beautiful grand-children. What else can a
mother pray for? Even if I die today, I
have lived a fulfilled life. God has been
kind to me and my family. Being blessed
with good health is by His grace. I believe
in God and I do the right thing or what He
wants me to do. Almighty Allah is the
alpha and omega, the beginning and the
end. I have enjoyed His favour in all areas
of my life. I am grateful.